MÈRE Stories: Mary Hathaway Busby
When I first had my son, I didn’t know how I was going to make it through each day.
I was so incredibly overwhelmed and recovering from a long birth that was full of scary moments and ended with a painful C-section.
I didn’t know how other moms did this (more than once!) or how I would be able to do it.
I was in a huge haze and crazy anxious.
Every evening when the sun set, I would call my mom crying, wondering how I could get through another night of darkness.
I couldn’t get myself to fall asleep or relax at all.
I had intrusive thoughts of things happening to my baby.
I washed my hands probably 20 times a day and had a set routine for cleaning and sanitizing bottles and pump parts that I needed completed in the exact right way before I could sit down or rest.
I was at the end of myself and remember telling my husband early on that I wanted to be brought somewhere where I wouldn’t have to feel anything anymore.
But so many people stepped up and helped.
Driving across town in Atlanta traffic to bring so many meals, checking in with texts (that I many times didn’t respond to), sending cozy pajamas and baby items and c section recovery kits, understanding when I didn’t want people to hold Cal yet, cleaning our house, washing bottles, picking up medications, starting loads of laundry—doing so much of what felt impossible to do myself.
I met with my therapist again.
I started medication.
Each week I got a little more back to myself.
I began to realize why people actually liked having a baby.
If you had to summarize your journey in motherhood with all its challenges, how would you describe it now? How have you found a way to reclaim your strength or identity? What have you learned?Motherhood is HARD.
But so are all the worthwhile things in life.
This journey for me has been learning to hold both the hard and the good at the same time.
There’s an ongoing process of holding joy and grief in each stage that doesn’t stop once you hit a certain point.
What advice or words of encouragement would you give another mom walking through a similar chapter?Struggling postpartum is so common and I’m grateful people are talking about it more.
The people who had been there told me it would get better—I didn’t believe them but it’s so true.
It took help and work, but I’m not only back to myself, but a healthier and more whole version of myself.
We all need our village—whether it’s family, friends, paid, hired, etc., we need people.
Dependence on others is what makes us human.
— Paige Byers
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