MÈRE Stories: Sara Coughlin
We welcomed the birth of our first son, William, in August of 2022, as a surprise honeymoon baby. We couldn't imagine life without him, but it took us both by surprise.
I've always been a person who had a plan.
We were going to enjoy being newlyweds for a few years, travel post-Covid, and chase down exciting and big work opportunities. Both my husband and I have always been very career-driven people and I had just started a new job that felt like a dream come true. I was the first hire of a local venture capital firm, doing work I felt was meaningful with and for people I believed in.
About six months in and two weeks after sharing I was pregnant, I was told there was a strategy shift. I was laid off during a meeting where I presented a performance recap and multi-year growth strategy. It devastated me for longer than I care to admit.
Looking back, I realize that a lot of my sense of self, belonging, and accomplishment was tied to my work and professional reputation.
Becoming a new mom was both the most beautiful and hardest thing I've ever done.
For the period post-layoff and until about a year after giving birth, I experienced anxiety and depression that showed up for me in a variety of ways. And, although we had the birth outcomes we desired (healthy mom & baby), there were some surprises and scares during my labor that we were not prepared for.
Aside from hormone shifts, I can connect a lot of these feelings back to my lack of control, change, and the major identity/ value/ and life changes compressed into a concentrated period of time.
I'm forever grateful to my husband and support system for helping me recognize and navigate that tough period.
With this first experience in mind, I entered into my second pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum with an entirely different mindset.
I switched OBGYN practices, delivered our second son, Samuel, unmedicated, and regularly attended therapy, chiropractic, and pelvic floor therapy sessions before, during, and after giving birth.
I've been feeling great in this postpartum experience—aside from the lack of sleep, which is totally to be expected!
If you had to summarize your journey in motherhood with all its challenges, how would you describe it now? How have you found a way to reclaim your strength or identity? What have you learned?I've learned so much about myself these last few years since becoming a mother. And, the change between my first and second child is something I'm really proud of, too.
My identity is no longer connected to my work or what I produce for others. I've evaluated my personal and familial value system and remain steadfast in how I choose to show up for people. Now, I look at professional opportunities and support from my network with renewed clarity.
I'm way more confident and assured as a mother this second time around, too.
I've grown into a woman and mother I'm proud of and want to be.
What advice or words of encouragement would you give another mom walking through a similar chapter? Don't be afraid of the work.
By work, I mean looking at yourself honestly, acknowledging your feelings and how they may evolve, and speaking regularly to people who can properly support you in whatever change you're navigating.
Candidly, the only way to get through it is to go through it.
Allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable will make room for others to act that way, too.
How has your journey changed you, both in ways you expected and in ways you never could have imagined?
It's been one of the best things that could have ever happened to me.
I wouldn't be as clear on my values, priorities, and talents.
I actually decided to pull away from working outside the home in February after getting a very short maternity leave (6 weeks paid leave) with our second child, who is now five months old.
I couldn't be prouder to have made this choice and deeply believe that when I am/our family is ready, I will go back to work on terms that work for us. The book, The Power Pause, has been an incredible resource for me.
It's been the most beautiful season of my life to be able to be with my boys, and I would have never imagined this for myself. I am so thankful.
— Sara Coughlin
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