When Someone You Love Is Navigating Postpartum Depression (PPD)
Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), including postpartum depression (PPD), are common, treatable, and no one’s fault.
New mothers experiencing PPD may feel overwhelmed, numb, irritable, disconnected, or deeply sad, even if they love their baby.
Loved ones like you play a powerful role in helping her feel safe, supported, and not alone.
For Partners
Your support is uniquely impactful. You see her intimately and may notice changes others do not.
What Helps:
Validate her feelings.
“I hear you. You’re not alone. I’m here with you.”
Reduce pressure, not add to it.
Don’t push her to “enjoy the baby” or “be grateful.”
Share the load.
Take over feeds, diapers, meals, and nighttime tasks when possible.
Protect her rest.
Sleep deprivation worsens symptoms; rest is essential care, not indulgence.
Encourage professional help gently.
“Talking to someone could help you feel better. I’ll support you however I can.”
What to Watch For:
Intensifying sadness or withdrawal
Loss of interest in things she usually enjoys
Statements about feeling like a burden or that her family would be “better off without her”
If she expresses thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby, seek help immediately.
For Parents and Close Family Members
You may want to “fix” things, but presence matters more than solutions!
What Helps:
Offer practical support without judgment.
Laundry, meals, errands, baby holding so she can rest.
Respect her boundaries.
Visits may feel overwhelming; follow her lead on timing.
Avoid minimizing.
Skip comments like “all moms go through this” or “you just need to get out more.”
Tell her she’s doing a good job.
Many moms with PPD doubt themselves constantly.
Your Role:
Be steady, patient, and compassionate. Consistency builds safety for her.
For Friends
You can be such support for her by staying connected.
What Helps:
Check in regularly even if she doesn’t respond.
Low-pressure messages like “Thinking of you today” matter.
Offer specific help.
Instead of “Let me know if you need anything,” try: “Can I drop dinner on your porch Tuesday or Thursday?”
Listen without trying to cheerlead.
She doesn’t need positivity; she needs presence.
Avoid:
Comparing her experience to someone else’s or your own
Assuming silence means she wants distance because PPD often makes reaching out hard
For Coworkers and Supervisors
Returning to work while navigating PPD is challenging.
What Helps:
Offer flexibility when possible.
Adjusted schedules, remote options, or gentle ramp-ups can reduce stress.
Respect privacy.
If she shares something personal, please keep it confidential.
Use compassionate communication.
“Take the time you need; we’re glad you’re here.”
Avoid:
Asking for details about her mental health
Assuming motherhood has made her less committed or capable
General Principles for All Loved Ones:
Believe her
Her feelings are real and valid.
Remove shame
PPD does not reflect her love for her baby or her abilities as a parent.
Help with basics
Food, rest, hydration, household tasks because these are foundational to healing.
Stay consistent
Gentle, steady support helps her nervous system and confidence recover.
Encourage professional support
Therapy, support groups, and sometimes medication can make a profound difference.
A Final Note for Those Who Love Her:
Supporting someone through postpartum depression can feel confusing and, at times, helpless. You may not always know the right words. You may worry about saying the wrong thing. What matters most is not perfection, but presence.
Your steadiness helps regulate her nervous system. Your belief in her helps quiet the shame. Your practical support gives her body and mind space to heal. Even small gestures, repeated consistently, can make an enormous difference.
Postpartum depression is treatable. With compassionate support and professional care when needed, healing is not only possible, it is common. Stay close. Stay patient. Stay kind.
Curious if your loved one can benefit from MÈRE’s support? You can reach out via our Contact form or schedule a free “Start Here” phone call with our Clinical Advocate below.