Neonatal Loss & Therapeutic Support
The loss of an infant is among the most profound and challenging events a family can face, for both the birthing parent, the partner or caregiver, and any siblings.
When a baby dies after birth, the world can feel like it stops.
You have spent minutes, hours, days learning their face, their smell, their tiny movements, and then suddenly, your arms are empty.
This kind of loss reaches every part of a mother: body, mind, and soul.
What Happens Emotionally:
Grief after neonatal loss can feel both sharp and hollow.
You may feel sadness that takes your breath away, anger that others do not understand, guilt that you could not protect your baby, or disbelief that this is real.
Many parents say it feels like they have lost not just their child, but the entire life they imagined together.
It is also common to feel conflicted emotions such as love, pride, regret, longing, all at once.
Some parents find comfort in remembering and talking about their baby, and others cannot yet bear to speak their name.
All of it is normal. Your grief will move and shift, and there is no “right” way to feel.
You May Also Notice
Feeling detached from your body and surroundings
Trouble sleeping and eating
Anxiety about the future or medical settings
Deep loneliness, even among supportive community
Grief is both emotional and biological…
What Happens Hormonally:
After neonatal loss, your body goes through the same postpartum changes as any mother’s, even as your heart grieves.
The hormones that supported pregnancy, estrogen and progesterone, both drop sharply. This can cause mood swings, tears, and exhaustion. Your milk may come in, which can be incredibly painful both physically and emotionally. Some mothers choose to suppress lactation; others express and donate milk in their baby’s memory. Either way, this is a deeply personal choice.
You May Also Experience:
Postpartum bleeding: this can last several weeks
Night sweats and temperature changes: due to hormonal shifts
Sleep disruption and fatigue: often made worse by grief and trauma
Changes in appetite and weight: as your body readjusts
Types of Therapy That Can Support Healing
Healing from neonatal loss requires a gentle, trauma-informed approach that honors both your grief and your identity as a mother.
The goal isn’t to “move on,” but to help you hold your baby’s memory with less pain over time.
Therapies Can Include:
Perinatal Grief and Loss Therapy: Guided by a perinatal mental health–certified therapist (PMH-C), this work holds space for the layers of trauma, attachment, and identity that accompany perinatal loss. Sessions often include both grief counseling and trauma-informed stabilization
Trauma-Focused Therapy (such as EMDR): Helps reprocess distressing parts/memories of the loss experience (hospital experiences, medical emergencies, or memories of the loss itself), easing the body’s alarm system so you can begin to live with less reactivity and fear
Attachment-based Therapy: Supports you in a continuing bond with your baby in meaningful ways
Couples Therapy: Helps partners navigate the reality that you may grieve differently, while still reaching for one another in the midst of sorrow
Body-based and Somatic Therapies: Reconnect you with your body through grounding, breath, or gentle movement, especially after a medically or emotionally traumatic birth
Child Grief Therapy: Designed to help children process and understand the death of a baby brother or sister in a developmentally appropriate way
Considering Medication Management:
Sometimes, the hormonal and emotional changes after loss can lead to postpartum depression, anxiety or sleep disruption that benefit from medical support.
Medication is not a sign of weakness, it is one of several tools that can help your body and mind begin to stabilize. If you notice persistent sadness, panic, intrusive thoughts, or an inability to rest, please reach out to our NP, Janie Purser. Janie can discuss safe and individualized options to help balance mood, support sleep, and ease physical recovery.
Medication can be combined with therapy to support your body and mind, especially when hormones, trauma, and grief all overlap.
If you have experienced neonatal loss, please know you are not alone. There is care, and there is a space for your love and your grief to coexist.
Right now, it might feel like the world has moved on, but your love has not gone anywhere.
The bond you built with your baby still lives within you, and it shows up in your tears, in your strength, in every quiet moment you think of them.
Sources & Resources: Osborn, S. (2020). The Miscarriage Map Workbook: A Healing Guide for Women Experiencing Early Pregnancy Loss. | Warren, B. (2019). Healing from Reproductive Trauma: A Therapist’s Guide to Supporting Women After Pregnancy Loss, Infertility, and Trauma. | Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. | American Psychological Association. (2020). Grief and loss during pregnancy and postpartum. | Postpartum Support International (PSI). (2023). Pregnancy and infant loss resources. | Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2023). Stillbirth: Facts and statistics.