Navigating Intimacy:
Sex Therapy Support for Women in Postpartum and Early Motherhood
Written by: Rachel Dorneanu LPC RYT – 200 at Sage Counseling and Wellness
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough air time: sex after baby.
If you’ve recently had a baby (or even if your “baby” is now starting kindergarten), you might be wondering if your sex life is ever going to feel the same again—or if it’s quietly packed its bags and left the building.
Spoiler alert: you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not broken.
Postpartum and early motherhood come with a lot of changes—some beautiful, some messy, and some that make you wonder if you’ll ever feel “in the mood” again. (Spoiler #2: You will—but it might look different than it did before, and that’s okay.)
Let’s break down what’s going on and how sex therapy can actually help you feel more like yourself again—both in and out of the bedroom.
1. Common Sexual Challenges Postpartum
First things first—let’s normalize what so many women experience postpartum.
Things like:
Pain during sex (thanks, hormones and healing tissues)
Zero libido (like, negative interest in anything involving effort)
Feeling weird in your body (because it literally just grew a human)
Bone-deep exhaustion that makes even the idea of foreplay feel like a marathon
These aren’t signs that you’re failing. These are signs that your body and mind are adjusting after one of the biggest physical and emotional transitions in life.
So, before we jump into the physical, our first recommendation when it comes to returning to sex and intimacy postpartum, is having clear, honest and vulnerable conversations with your partner.
Discuss how you both are feeling and your desired outcomes when it comes to returning to sex and intimacy. This is a great time to have this conversation if you have never discussed it before together!
Communication is a crucial building block of relational intimacy, and the postpartum period can be a time where couples feed strained in their communication.
Make time to start an open conversation with your partner about returning to sex and intimacy and recognize that your desires and your partner’s desires will change over time so continued communication and intentionality are necessary!
2. Emotional and Psychological Factors
It's not just your body that’s in recovery mode—your brain and heart are, too.
Maybe you're dealing with postpartum depression or anxiety, or maybe you're just feeling the weight of this new role you’ve taken on. There’s also that awkward mix of guilt and pressure: guilt for not feeling sexy, and pressure to somehow be a partner, a parent, and a person all at once.
And let’s not forget the evolving partner dynamic. You and your partner are both learning new roles, running on little sleep, and maybe arguing over who changed more diapers. That can put a damper on date night real quick.
My Story: Learning to Navigate It All
As a therapist and mom of a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old, I get this season on a deeply personal level. My second baby spent time in the NICU, and that experience alone changed me in ways I’m still unpacking. The emotional rollercoaster, the fear, the exhaustion—it all left a lasting imprint.
Now, I’m in the thick of balancing work, motherhood, partnership, and (when there’s time) remembering who I am as a person outside of those roles. Some days feel beautifully connected and smooth. Other days, it’s a miracle if I brush my hair and have a full conversation that doesn’t involve snack negotiations.
Finding time for intimacy—emotional or physical—has taken patience, humor, and a lot of grace. It’s also taken the same support I offer my clients: space to talk about the hard stuff and permission to be honest about what I need.
3. The Role of Hormones and Physical Healing
Your hormones are doing all kinds of backflips postpartum, especially if you’re breastfeeding.
Lower estrogen can lead to vaginal dryness (ouch), and lower testosterone can mean desire takes a nosedive. Add in the normal healing process after childbirth—vaginal or C-section—and your body may just be saying, “Not yet.”
Pelvic floor therapy can be a game-changer here, and so can learning to give yourself so much grace. There’s no rush to get back to “normal,” especially when “normal” is now being redefined.
Maybe an affirmation could help here. “I will be kind to my body, heart, and mind today.”
4. Supporting Connection with Your Partner
Here’s some good news: intimacy is more than just sex.
It can be eye contact while passing the baby monitor, a long hug in the kitchen, or a shared laugh over spilled milk (literal or emotional). When physical intimacy feels hard, emotional connection becomes even more important.
Sex therapy can help you and your partner find new ways to connect, communicate, and eventually, rediscover what desire looks like in this new chapter—without pressure or a stopwatch.
If this feels a bit tough right now, try to add in more “I” language and less “You” language. For example: “I feel frustrated when we don’t tidy the house after a long day, and I need a cleaner home to feel calmer and open to connection.”
5. How Sex Therapy Can Help
This is where sex therapy really shines. It’s a space to:
Talk about your body and all the ways it feels different
Process identity shifts—you’re still you, but with some new layers
Get practical strategies for rebuilding intimacy on your terms
Laugh a little, cry a little, and get curious without judgment
At Sage Counseling and Wellness, we work with women navigating the complexities of postpartum and early motherhood.
Whether you’re feeling disconnected from your body, overwhelmed by the pressure to be “back to normal,” or simply want to feel close to your partner again, we’re here to support you with warmth, compassion, and a sense of humor.
You’re Not Alone—Let’s Talk
If anything in this post resonates with you, we’d love to connect. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to see if sex therapy at Sage Counseling and Wellness is the right next step for you. No pressure, no judgment—just a conversation. We work with clients in Georgia, Florida, and South Carolina.