MÈRE Stories: Setu Shah
There's one phrase you'll probably hear from many first-time moms:
"Why didn't anyone tell me?"
For me, I said that phrase about a lot of things (even if I had sort of heard about it before having my baby) but the one topic I definitely didn't know anything about was Postpartum Preeclampsia.
I hadn't even heard about Preeclampsia because I was never diagnosed with it - nobody told me that I could have high blood pressure and that could mean life or death for me and my baby.
I learned about it the hard way - precisely 48 hours after having a very difficult delivery (my baby failed to descend after hours of pushing, and I ended up in an emergency c-section at 4am and losing over a liter of blood), the OB/GYN on call came in to say that I'll need to be moved to the high-risk unit for Postpartum Preeclampsia. My liver enzymes had spiked through the roof and my blood pressure had been elevated for days, and the treatment was receiving Magnesium Sulfate (a chemical compound that causes terrible vertigo) to prevent possible strokes and seizures.
To say I was shocked was an understatement. I had already started getting my things ready to be discharged.
The delivery haze was real, and to be honest, the onset of Postpartum Anxiety and Depression had already begun due to a difficult delivery and lack of sleep (little did I know that my PPA/PPD would persist for over two years after that).
While my blood pressure normalized within a few days and I was able to go home, my liver enzymes stayed elevated for a year after that forcing me to go see a liver transplant specialist. Luckily, they eventually normalized as well but the trauma lingered. Having to be moved to the high-risk unit for Postpartum Preeclampsia honestly set the tone for my first postpartum experience, and the subsequent grief endured was heartbreaking.
Along with the difficult delivery and Postpartum Preeclampsia complications, I had several additional challenges thrown my way during postpartum—massive water damage to my house forcing me to move out with my son when he was just one month old, job loss when he was six months, and the hardest and most shocking—the lack of understanding and patience from the people closest to me.
All I heard was, “you should be grateful”, “why are you complaining”, “why aren’t you working harder”…and while I am immensely grateful for my happy, healthy son (believe me, he is everything to me), trauma is trauma and should be recognized as such.
These challenges combined with hormonal effects led me into a state of severe PPA and PPD, where I struggled for well over a year to find the help I needed.
Searching for the right-fit therapist who would take my insurance and the right-fit meds to relieve my anxiety and depression proved to be incredibly challenging. I was desperate for help after my birth trauma and postpartum challenges but was completely lost as to whom to go to and where to start.
The isolation, lack of sleep, and inability to think straight combined with a complex/fragmented mental health industry left me in a state of anxiety and depression for much longer than is considered healthy and completely tarnished my experience as a first-time mom.
Moms deserve better—just going to the OB/GYN is not enough—we need mental health support, pelvic floor therapy, household help, and more.
That’s why I love the Mere Health mission, and I’m so excited for the impact this company will have on so many mothers.
If you had to summarize your journey in motherhood with all its challenges, how would you describe it now? How have you found a way to reclaim your strength or identity? What have you learned?Motherhood is 1,000% a symbol of strength, courage, and bravery.
I wouldn’t wish my delivery and postpartum experience on anyone, but I am immensely stronger because of it and, in some ways, in awe of myself for what I overcame.
My birth trauma forced me to prioritize myself first for the first time in my life, and I finally started to heal past wounds, create healthy boundaries, and reshape who I am as a person and what truly matters to me.
My experience led me to start my own company, Financial Doula—an education and coaching platform that helps new parents (especially new moms) tackle a small piece of entering parenthood—learning and navigating the financial and time management changes that come with growing your family. I’m so excited for what the future has in store—from the impact my business will have on growing families throughout the world to the continued growth I will have as an individual, mom and entrepreneur.
I’ve now found peace with myself and my experience and have much more confidence in myself to handle whatever else comes my way…so much so that I’ve got baby #2 on the way :)
What advice or words of encouragement would you give another mom walking through a similar chapter? The lesson I learned through all of this is that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s ok if it takes you longer to get there than others…what matters is that you get there.
Getting Postpartum Preeclampsia was something completely out of my control (from the little that I know, and the little research out there, there’s not much you can do to prevent it), but how quickly I sounded the alarm about the impact this experience and the other postpartum challenges were having on my mental and physical health was in my control.
My advice—speak up early and often…and if the people closest to you don’t listen, keep searching for someone that will because your life matters.
How has your journey changed you, both in ways you expected and in ways you never could have imagined?I feel that my journey completely reshaped who I am as a person for the better.
While I always knew I had to turn into a morning person post-baby, I didn’t realize how much I needed to improve my self-love, boundary setting, and communication…not because I necessarily had something to prove, but more so to just be able to live the life I wanted to live and be the mother and partner I wanted to be.
I am much more proactive about my needs. I’m way better about ignoring judgement and trying to please people. And I finally understand what it means to fill my cup first before trying to fill others.
— Setu Shah
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